Hello…Is anyone here? My apologies to anyone who hasmissed me, (few in number I know) but I have been a negligent blogger. While Elaine is burning up the keyboard and the hipstamatic function of her new ipad, I have been quite content to ignore cyberspace all together. What’s really sad is that I have been ignoring pretty well everything else in my life as of late too. Not that I am too busy, or that life with Addison is too difficult. It’s more that I’m trying to overcome the feeling that nothing else really matters. Parents everywhere must go through this at some level, but its all new to me. Our psychologist warned us there would be a time when we would feel like this. I just don’t know how long it is supposed to last.
Going back to work has been interesting. Let me say first, I am so lucky to work where I do. Not once has anyone said anything to me about the days off I’ve had to take, or the reduced schedule I continue to work three months after the fact. Despite weekly visits to the hospital not once have I had to take a day off. While I have felt no pressure from my superiors, the pressure I put on myself more than makes up for it. If I worked a 9 to 5 job maybe the associated guilt wouldn’t be so bad, but my job is anything but 9 to 5. I am a reporter for a local TV station. News happens at all hours of the day, and B.A. (before Addison) I was always game to go cover it. Early morning requests to go to a forest fire in the Okanagan were always answered with an emphatic “Yes!” A snap decision from the assignment desk to send a crew to the Island by float plane would always be welcome. There was no story I wouldn’t drop everything to chase…no deadline too short, no remote corner of the province I wouldn’t jump at the chance to visit. All of that has changed now. I still want to go, but I am torn by the desire to spend as much of my waking life as possible with my 5.7 kilogram bundle of joy. Not to mention her mother would be spitting nails to see me leave for a week.
On the other end of the news spectrum are the stories no one wants to cover. The routine…the mundane…the boring. You know what I’m talking about (the press conference about some government program no one in their right mind cares about, but we cover it anyway kind of story). Now try getting fired up to do that after your daughter fights a life and death battle in a hospital. Like I said, I love my job, but some days 6 o’clock can’t come fast enough.