My reality check…a sobering Momma moment

One night this week after the Princess was tucked in to bed, I gathered up all the empties for recycling. Seeing all those drained bottles amassed together on the table was a sobering moment for me. I only wish I could say they were the product of too many holiday parties. These empty bottles are all of Addison’s drugs from the last few months. And that means the toxic medication they used to hold have circulated through my little girl’s body. It made me so sad. I had to just stop for a minute. She has to take these harsh drugs so she can stay alive. For the rest of her life. I know Addison can’t live without them, but when I am pushing those oral syringes into her mouth day in and day out, every once in a while I feel incredibly guilty because my hand is the one that is administering the poison.


When I told Aaron about my Momma moment when he got home, he paused for a moment and said, “At least she is here to take the medicine.”


Elaine, Aaron and Addison

9 thoughts on “My reality check…a sobering Momma moment

  1. It makes me smile when I see her turn up her little nose. I’m glad she’s here too! My wish to you is that the benefits are always greater than the side-effects. Addison is my hero!

  2. Through Addison’s journey, be it through your blog, her T.V fame or through the many people during your travels that you have shared Addison’s life. You and your family have brought so much awareness about organ transplant. Treasure all of the wonderful moments with Addison. You have a world of people that you and your family are not even aware of that are keeping Addison in their daily prayers for continued good heaith for her. She is adorable and you and Aaron have enabled her to reach for the stars!

  3. Hang in there Mommy!!!!!!!!!! I cannot imagine what that must have felt like…just seeing the picture of all these empty bottles is eye-opening…. But, these drugs are designed to help Addison to feel good and keep her body as healthy as can be! Who knows – maybe some amazing scientist will come up with something in the (near) future so Addie and others don’t need to take drugs everyday… XOXOX

  4. Hugs Elaine….. Aaron is right though … we are all glad she is still and you are sharing your miracle daughter with the world to enlighten others. My hope is some medical genius will come up with a less harmful approach to preventing organ rejection. Long Live Princess Addie… may she thrive and may she one day benefit from all the research that will continue, surrounding pediatric transplants. She is a gorgeous poster child for why this is so essential ! She oozes with ” joie de vivre “.

  5. It is hard to pause & have these moments of realizations… reading your post just is that for us too but despite our administrations of such medications we find the happiness of hours of hard work our scientific teams have done to make this possible for us. Parents of our lovely amazing children who have had to undergo transplants & as of now get to take these meds. It yet remains quite the reminder that we need more medical miracles & support to help find ways to make it… Easier yet 🙂 our family is thankful, even though we can pay staggering courier costs to get our meds from children’s hospital to our home 1000 kms away but always remind myself, we are blessed to be ‘home’ with our 4 year old babygirl Challaine because of this. Yay June 8 will be her 4 year kidney transplant anniversary! 😊

    I love your posts & the awareness your putting out there about transplant & organ donation. Your daughter is growing beautifully & many blessings sent your way. ❤️

  6. Mom guilt knows no bounds, especially rationality. You’re the best mom Addison could have been blessed with, and the bravest and toughest! I’m so happy to be a part of Team Addison (got my lovely thank you card in the letterbox today all the way over here in Queensland) hugs!

  7. I was cleaning out our med cupboard earlier this month.There was a lot of meds in there man, and
    almost half of them she no longer takes. Today it is just the anti-rejections, a maintenance antibiotic and
    her inhalers. From 35 pills plus inhalers daily to about 8 and inhalers. Its the bittersweet with things like Tac,
    but where would our babies be without them? And yes Grace would be mortified to have me call her a baby!HA!

  8. I am wishing and hoping that the wonderful ever changing medical field will one day help with the meds that our transplant children have to take. My wishes is that they can all survive with out the poisonous side effects!!! God Bless!!

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