One night this week after the Princess was tucked in to bed, I gathered up all the empties for recycling. Seeing all those drained bottles amassed together on the table was a sobering moment for me. I only wish I could say they were the product of too many holiday parties. These empty bottles are all of Addison’s drugs from the last few months. And that means the toxic medication they used to hold have circulated through my little girl’s body. It made me so sad. I had to just stop for a minute. She has to take these harsh drugs so she can stay alive. For the rest of her life. I know Addison can’t live without them, but when I am pushing those oral syringes into her mouth day in and day out, every once in a while I feel incredibly guilty because my hand is the one that is administering the poison.
When I told Aaron about my Momma moment when he got home, he paused for a moment and said, “At least she is here to take the medicine.”
Elaine, Aaron and Addison